Early Thursday morning local time, Australian police in Melbourne raided a fake taxi company. According to a police spokesman, the investigation has been ongoing for several years, and as a result of the raid, the police arrested five people, including the notorious owner. The police seized several cars, as well as lots of cash hidden in the car’s engine.

One of the cars that was seized.

Anonymous sources have stated that the company’s owner had received a tip about an imminent raid from a rival gang. At the same time, the owner, Jesus, believed that the tip was only to psyche out the team before tonight’s race in Australia. According to the local legislation, the owner risks three years in prison, while his employees risk anything from 25 years to 8 million years in prison for having signed an employment contract in the company.

I have been hired to assist the team in this difficult time they are going through, the highly respected Norwegian lawyer John Christian Elden told 1251 News Channel.

The lawyer, for his part, is a familiar face in Norwegian courtrooms, where rumor has it that everyone he defends is guilty. Therefore, the lawyer has never managed to get anyone acquitted. Time will tell whether this is a good chess move by Fake Taxi Racing, but there are many indications that Jesus has not done his homework when he hired the lawyer.

As a good leader that I am, I choose to blame these Norwegian drivers, Scheggman and Liaracing, when they advised me which lawyer to use, Jesus shouted to the press corps as he was led out of the premises.

The drivers from Norway have chosen not to comment, while the anonymous source, Gowers in Pist n’ Broke racing, which is apparently the team that tipped off Fake Taxi Racing about the police raid, believes that Chillerkills, who is also employed by Fake Taxi Racing, is the mastermind behind the alleged crimes.

We cannot say anything about what the crimes are, other than that the porn industry is upset that a team is posing as fake taxi drivers, the police wrote in a press release.